Friday, January 27, 2012

Depressing Depression

Becca's real name is Kiki! At least, that's what I started calling her a few years back and then everyone else copied me. Isn't is strange, how sometimes a nickname will just...stick? Anyway...just throwing that out there.

Today I'm supposed to talk to you about Fabulous Franny, but my mood is nothing short of gray. I tried, but can think of nothing funny to give to you today. Sorry to disappoint. 

Yesterday I didn't write anything. I couldn't. The mood I've been dropped in since then is a mixture of guilt and failure. It's frustrating to be caught in that. My sister even took notice of the "emo corner" I'd stuck myself in. She asked what was wrong, but I just couldn't tell her. Several hours later she saw me again. 

"Still depressed?" she asked. I had to let out a dramatic sigh (because it makes me feel better) as I responded.  

"I hate being depressed! It makes me depressed!!!" I hadn't realize what I'd said until after she broke out into laughter. Admittedly, I smiled too. I guess you could say that was the start of my getting better. But waking up this morning, everything that made me depressed yesterday came rushing back and now I feel horrible again. How do you feel better when you've admitted your guilt and been forgiven? What else is left to do? Maybe I did something else wrong...

I hope today I can figure out how to take my focus off this depressing situation and put it back on writing... 

Wish me Luck! -waves-

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